CH Badman Series
by janahjean
Summary: hopefully a oneshot collection of CH Badman in the fanfic universe.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own the original canon nor am I making any profit from writing this piece. All works are accredited to their original authors, performers, and producers while this piece is mine. No copyright infringement is intended. I acknowledge that all views and opinions expressed herein are merely interpretations of the characters and situations found within the original canon and may not reflect the views and opinions of the original author(s), producer(s), and/or other people.

 **Matls** :

Starmobile playfive androidm phone

Google doc

Cell data:globe isp gotscombodd70

50\. always 5-6-17

51\. daddbats and lil supey 6-12-17

52\. **CH Badman Series** 7-4-17

By: janahjeanb

Jason sucked in a deep, fortifying breathe before he press the communicator on and said right into it. "Boys, we may have a problem."

He didn't have to wait long before his words cause a flurry of disbelief in the other line.

"What have you done to Father, Todd?!" Todd sank-slide in part of the wall of the rooftop and use the uncinscious body of B as a footrest. This might take awhile.

"Jaybird where are -"

"I'm picking their signal downtown. I'm sendin in the batmobile." Tim interrupted Dick's demand eerily calm.

"B-but " Damian protested.

"Story time later." Tim said.

The comm link went dead. Jason was not even surprise, having used to the way Batman cut off com abruptly.

Jason was secretly impressed with how his replacement handled things.

Even more when the batmobile arrive with even a pack of cigar. Sweet.

(S)

The four boys gather in circle surrounding the Batman whom Jason had toss into a chair with a sack covering his head.

"Before anything else .." Todd began as he laid both hands on both Batman's shoulder. "This is not our Batman." He stressed.

Damian's smirk faltered and broke.

Tim scratched his cowl with a tip of the pen and sassed, "with how you treat him? I couldn't tell!"

Dick look at the Batman and Jay and back again. "Wh- what? How?"

Almost at the same time, they all chimed in. "Dimension travel! I hate dimension travel!"

Dick being the eldest decided to take charge. He grab the sack and pull it out.

"Ahhh!" Badman broke into a scream as soon as Dick manage to wake him up with a not so gentle several slap in the cheek.

"Careful there Dick. He might not be father but he is still Batman with quick reflex.." Damian had warned earlier.

The boys study the Badman. The guy looked remarkably like their Batman with a few remarkable difference. This Badman seemed poutish and although he looks intimidating with the armour, he didnt wear it like a soldier but more of a debutante.

Badman equally study them back trying to not look frighten at their gears. "Where am I? Who are you?!" He growl.

Dick couldnt help it but broke into a smile. "Really? This Batman is like twenty years outdated, the last time I heard Bruce broke his larynx was way back when I was ten."

He throw back his head and laugh.

"Can you relate to what he said?" Tim asked Jay in flawless Mandarin.

Jason shake his head "no".

"Timtam, I KNOW Chinese!" Dick quit laughing to glare at his brother in offense.

Badman actually pouted. "Hey, I practice that voice for hours!"

He hiss at them, "Why are you in my cave?!"

"Bruce dropped the voice. Also in this dimension we are your kids." Tim order as he began to rummage for sachet of instant coffee and packet of sugar from his utility belt.

Badman looked frighten at being called Bruce. "I'm not Bruce Wayne

Hahaha..seriously how could you possibly mistaken me for that rich, handsome fello--" his voice died at their combined glare.

"I'm in another … dimension?" He asked cautiously after awhile.

Damian decided to release the Batman when it dawned on him that the stranger didnt took this chat as an opportunity to try to free himself from his handcuff and ziplock.

"Yes Bruce". Tim said

" and and you all are my kids?"Badman gawked at them yet again. He absentmindedly rub his wrist.

"Yes."

"And this is not my cave. So, how can you be my kids?!" Batman said triumphantly.

"For god's sake!" Jason screamed. "You have a version in this dimension that had swapped places with you! So that version of Batman is our Dad!!!" he yelled as he drowned Badman with his spit. He didn't know how he ended grabbing Badman's neck from his earlier place beside Tim.

"No, let my batcomputer analyse this …" Badman's eyes actually gleam "...with Science!"

"Ahh shit."

(S)

"What is Fa-Batman doing?" Damian asked two hours later after a refreshing nap.

Dick who was trying to rearrange back to their orginal spot this Badman had done to their tools looked up at their youngest. "Labelling things with a label maker."

"Ah." Damian couldnt hide the twitch in his lips. Especially at the "dick" sign plastered on Dick's forehead. Then he laugh, because fucking why not?! It's funny as hell.

Dick realizing the reason for the youngest merriment joined in a few seconds later.

"Bru- I mean Batman," Tim corrected when Bruce glare at him. "If Alfred were here he'll be telling you to change your clothes."

Badman snorted while he carefully stick the label "batcomputer" on the screen. "This seals in the flavor. Then the cowardly lot will associate it with fear."

Tim gape at him. "You actually believe what you said!" He realized, shock at this.

Badman and Tim share an awkward silence after that. "What does this do?" Badman asked later as he approach Tim with a weird shape birdarang.

Tim looked up from reading thru a file. He looked cheerful all of a sudden. "Oh that!" He enthused as he motion for Badman to hand it over. "You see this is something I designed. See this …"

"You have been staring at me all this time. What's gotten into you?" Tim asked Badman. Honestly the staring is uncomfortable but he masked his disquiet.

"Thank you, Red Hood."

"I'm actually Red Robin." Tim answered getting side track.

"Nu-uh." Badman sounded earnest."You were wearing a hood so why can't you be Black Hood or somethin?"

Tim squeezed the bridge of his nose. "Oh God." He mouthed several times until he calm down. He looked at Batman. "Can you just tell me why all the strange look?"

"Coz I can't believe how smart you are! Do you know how smart you sounded awhile back?" Badman finally loses his vigilante's voice and it mellowed to a painless baritone timbre.

Then walking away and switching back to a deep growl, "I wish I don't get confuse a lot. Unlike you."

Tim feel a sudden warmth in his chest.

(S)

Jason and Dick were practically in tears laughing as they occupied Bruce's room and watched the saved video of Badman interrogatin the wrog clown in his universe.

"Omg! Let's repeat it again!" Dick beg already launching towards the cellphone to replay the whole thing.

Damian came in just in time as they found out another video(hidden) this time with the riddler's riddle.

"Stop it." the older boys weren't aware of the youngest's presence considering the boy used the window to enter, only until the youngest was vibrating with fury in front of them. His body blocked them from seeing the tv, his clenched fists

and snarling face, a sight to behold.

"Stop making fun of Father!" he shouted.

"But Lil D, he is n-not really Bruce-" it was painful for Damian to see Dick looking so earnest and yet so wrong.

"-He is still Batman and if there's a me in his universe, I would hate for him to find out that I didn't do anything as someone insulted their Dad!!" Damian's voice broke in the last part.

Embarass to reveal how upset he was, Damian took off and vanish by the door.

Jason quietly started to clean up the room. Dick offered to help but Jay snap and told him to return or destroy or he didnt care right now, the cellphone of Bats.

Badman who was on his way out of the quest room for a shower stalled on the hallway when he overheard Damian's outburst and right now his heart speed up when he got caught by Damian accidentally spying in the way.

"Don't." Damian said flatly at him, an eerie resemblance of Bruce usual's tight-lipped expression on his face before the kid vanished in the corner.

(S)

"We losts Damian!" Tim yelled later,panicked.

"We losts Batman," Dick said as well, relieved. The three boys headed towards the batcave in a race.

Dick collapse into Jason's arms in relief when the tracker of Damian display that he was at the east of the manor near the forest and the Wayne's cemetary.

Tim's eyes bulge when he switched on the camera feed and find both males in their civvies fighting with sticks.

Jason increases the mic's volume and the trio tried to get closer towards the speaker to hear better.

"..who taught you?" Damian asked as he dodged an attack that could have otherwise seperate his head from his body.

"I learned it in the mountains." Brucie Wayne answered with a smirk. And this was Brucie Wayne with his amicable rockstar smiles and the way he look like he was posturing for a better camera angle -if he wasn't doing any attack!

Damian who had always been on the attacking position every time he and his father trained, found himself (badly) in the defending side as Brucie made him deliciously giddy seeing as how good he was in sword fighting.

(His father never did play with him sword.)

"You alright?" Brucie asked dropping his stick when one viscous(?) Kicked from him send the boy flying and then sprawlin on the ground. He stretched his hand toward the kid.

The boy spat blood and he was smiling from ear to ear with bloody teeth. "You're awesome!" He exclaimed in Arabic as he flung himself and hug the guy's waist.

 **EPILOGUE**

Badman and Red Hood patiently wait until the portal open. And then Alfred step back into his proper dimension.

"Well, this is it." another Alfred said as he kneel down and carefully open the hand carry suitcase that he have. Then he lift it.

Badman grunted his appreciation at the gear stowed neatly in the suitcase in precise order.

Batman carefully removed his Badman gear and replace it with his more solid, more intimidating, more advance armour with a rapid succession of fasteners, velcro, clasp and what's is.

Jason who was secretly clocking how fast Bruce undress and redress curse silently as the older man is five second faster than Jay's previous record which basically means, Jason had to double his effort in transforming from civvie to hero gear as well.

"It was fun playing Batman while it lasted." Their Alfred admitted thoughtfully when Jason asked.

Badman's Alfred grumble. "I wouldn't resort to this except that bloody idiot son of mine have challenged the alien Kryptonite."

Batman flushed under the combined amuse and judgemental look both from his kid and father. He had done the same thing too but it was years and years ago.

"A deal's a deal." Jason said after the portal close as he extended his hand for Batman to shake.

Batman ignore his hand to squint at Jason. "You have me went thru all those hoopla just to...what, exactly?"

Jason smile. "just so you know you can bond with your kids without losin your reputation as Batman anddd dont forget i throw in the you can hug Red Hood pass as well if you do this"

Jason was shocked as Bruce fold him into an embrace. Alfrer joined in a few second later.

 **-the end-**

07012017

Yan arrive

07022017

Bday of mAri0's bro

Endless drizzle

pacquiao vs horns fight

07032017

Bday of bru

Went to banwa print vocabulary

07042017

Bday of bru 2

V broke aunt's phone

is stressed with all these fuckers in the house.

2 days in a row shoulder and neck pin due to stress

still marawi maute isis headline

An/ if you have any idea how Bruce bond with Dick in this story and "Bruce is 10 years old" drop me a line.

So yeah it went from crack to totally something else. Since im goin to turn this into a possible series ill try my best next time!

Also its weird veing pulled vack in the batfam fanfic considering I'm hyperfocus on Superman right now. Quess i should blame fb group "batman writers unite" -i mean i was having so much fun there, i had to open my big mouth and announced i wanted to write College humor Badman and here i am.

The only Badman series i havent watch fully is when Badman blew up his disguose. I cant handle the overloading second hand embrassment im experrncing

Still havent watch Lego Batman.


End file.
